I Am Deeply Loved

I Am Deeply Loved is the first answer to the question “Who Am I Really?” we are considering from the last blog post.  Even though Merton said in his prayer, “Nor do I really know myself,” I believe he would agree with I Am Deeply Loved and with each of the upcoming future blog responses to “Who Am I Really?”

In reflecting backwards on my life, I honestly cannot conjure up a time when I did not resonate with I Am Deeply Loved.  As a young child I always felt love from my father and mother, our local church, and God who created me and “knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13, NLT).  One of the very first scripture verses I memorized, as most Christians do, is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life” (KJV).

Since I was part of “the world,” that meant to 8-year-old Stevie that God loved me!  I understood it enough at that young age, so that one Sunday morning I walked down the aisle, made my “confession of faith,” and was baptized. As I came up out of the baptismal waters I knew that I Am Deeply Loved and the source of that love was the omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent God of the Bible (even though I knew not those words then!).

It makes sense that one who is part of a “church” will and should feel loved by their church.  My Sunday School teachers spent time teaching me about Jesus and his love for me when I was little.  My Sunday School teacher when I was in 3^rd grade was my mother and when I was in 9^th-12^th grades was my father.  The junior and senior high youth group leaders always conveyed to me that I Am Deeply Loved by them, as they helped me see God’s calling on my life which led to attending a Christian College and becoming a pastor.  I Am Deeply Loved poured over me for the ten years that I served local congregations as pastor.  In fact, some members of the Palestine Christian Church in Wolcott, IN, read and comment on this blog regularly, and thus I Am Deeply Loved by them, even these forty years since I preached my last sermon there!  Thank you Palestine!

But all is not “hunky dory” in my life, and there are times when clearly, I was “not deeply loved.”  I can cite (but won’t do it publicly!) family tensions which felt very “unlovable” and a few not-so-nice situations from the church.  Here’s one:  I was doing interim fill-in preaching for a few years while enrolled in my grad courses in Semitics at the University of Chicago (before my law career!).  One Saturday night I got a frantic phone call from the head elder of the church where I was to preach the next morning.  He: “Rev. Denny, we just found out that you are divorced, and our church has a policy that we never allow a divorced person to preach.”  Me: “I am so glad you called, since I have a policy never to preach at close minded and legalistic churches, and if I had preached tomorrow and found out later about your policy, it would have been very upsetting to me.  So, thank you very much for calling.”  Snarky? Yes.  Justified? Yes (IMHO).

The above paragraph notwithstanding, there has never been a day when I Am Deeply Loved by God, the church, and my family has not been felt, and it has never been questioned. May you know in your soul “I Am Deeply Love.”

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