August 2023 – The Merton Prayer

But What About You?

Greg Laurie, a recent biographer of Billy Graham, said that every single time he sat down to interview the 90-something-year-old Graham, after one or two questions he would hear Graham say, “But What About You? It seemed to Laurie that Graham could not bear the discomfort of talking so much about oneself.

Inevitably, Laurie would walk away from each interview session with precious material which would likely make it into the new book he was writing [Billy Graham: The Man I Knew (Salem Books, 2021)]. Just as inevitably, due to Graham’s constant probing Laurie for information about the author, he would always leave the interview sessions feeling that Graham had been interviewing him!

I have known people who could spend two hours at lunch with me and never once ask the question But What About You? And when I left those encounters, I felt empty, unknown, and not at all inclined to have a repeat session with that person. Knowing and being known. That’s what relationships are all about, are they not? A one-sided relationship usually withers and dies from “malnutrition.”

And what is the relationship “nutrition” which allows healthy connections with others? The Apostle Paul laid down for Christ-followers the keys to relationships in his letter to the Philippians: “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT). In other words, stop being arrogant and self-centered, and do what Billy Graham always did by seeking to know the other person instead of just focusing on oneself. But What About You? should be our mantra whenever we are engaging with another person. Every human has the imago Dei written all over them, in their fleshly and spiritual DNA. Every person whom God brings across our path is someone worthy of our honor and respect, and But What About You? gets us in a position for authentic and honest connection.

Merton’s phrase“Nor do I really know myself” is the step-off-curb to enter the Philippians 2:3-4 highway. Often when I recite The Merton Prayer and come to this phrase I just stop, horrified at the powerful truth and implication of those six words. Focusing on excavating my true self from my omnipresent and seemingly omnipotent false self requires authentic honesty, the hallmark curriculum of The Merton Prayer.

As a trial lawyer, my professional “bread and butter” is asking questions of witnesses to discern their feelings, actions, beliefs, and background. At times, family members have told me, “You are not conducting a deposition now so stop asking so many questions.” Even with my comfort in asking questions to witnesses, when it comes to my personal relationships I have to work at focusing on learning about the other person rather than spouting off my ideas, philosophies, etc.

May you engage your significant others this week with humility, looking for chances to steer the conversation away from you with the question But What About You?

[NOTE: If your organization, church, or school would like a workshop/presentation on The Merton Prayer please use the contact tab and let me know! I can Zoom all over the world and have done 90-minute, 3-hour, 5-hour, weekend, or five-day workshops/retreats.]

Leave a comment, if you wish, regarding this post or how you found The Merton Prayer and why it is important to you. Thanks for visiting http://www.TheMertonPrayer.com!

Billy Graham and I

In 2018 on February 21^st the Rev. Billy Graham died. How do I remember such a fact? February 21^st is my birthday. To learn that my birthday was his death day has stuck with me since then. Billy Graham and I share a significant connection around other areas of life as well.

Perhaps the most famous evangelist of the modern era, Rev. Billy Graham had an amazing career which took him around the world. Many books have been written about him; perhaps the most enjoyable and lighthearted is Billy Graham: The Man I Knew by Greg Laurie (Salem Books, 2021).

For four days in 1971, Rev. Billy Graham packed Memorial Coliseum on the campus of the University of Kentucky. My father, Gayle M. Denny, worked for months as a member of the Lexington Crusade’s planning committee. I recall him talking about the upcoming crusade and especially about his first meeting with Billy Graham. Being in that crusade crowd was a seminal event in my spiritual life as a Christ-follower.

Billy Graham and I both adhered to “The Billy Graham Rule.” When I was a pastor for ten years with a wonderful congregation, Palestine Christian Church in Wolcott, Indiana, I adhered to this well-known rule. Billy Graham never met alone with a woman in a closed room, and I always kept my office door open for such meetings. Mike Pence was widely mocked when he announced his adherence to “The Billy Graham Rule.” Your opinion of this rule notwithstanding, as far as I know, neither Graham, Pence, nor I were ever slapped with harassment claims!

Some of Billy Graham’s quotes have stuck with me for decades. My favorite Graham quote is this: “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” Our divided and toxic world right now desperately needs this “Grahamism!”

I love the structure of Billy Graham’s sermons; often I heard myself preaching his succinct points and recounting some of his memorable illustrations, which always touched the heart and not just the head! Then there was his “invitation to come forward and accept Jesus as one’s personal Lord and Savior.” As people streamed out of the stadium seats, I can see Graham standing still, perhaps one hand on his chin, head bowed, eyes closed, clearly praying fervently for more souls to be saved.

Billy Graham and I not only shared February 21^st, we both shared a goal of helping sinners claim Jesus as “My Lord God,” the lead words to The Merton Prayer. Graham to untold millions and millions. I to dozens and dozens!

Leave a comment, if you wish, regarding this post or how you found The Merton Prayer and why it is important to you. Thanks for visiting http://www.TheMertonPrayer.com!

Power Up!

When I was a sophomore in high school my basketball coach yelled at me during a practice session, “Denny, power up! Don’t be a weenie under the rim! Be strong!” My coach, Herky Rupp, was the son of a very famous college coach at Kentucky, so when he spoke, we all listened with reverent attention! I had just been “outed” as a weakling in the eyes/ears of all my teammates.

The reason his words are with me still? In my adult life at many various points along the way I have felt very weak, especially “under the rim” (which is where all the rough action happens on a basketball court). I felt very weak just 14 days ago when I underwent lung surgery to remove cancer! I have always been much more comfortable shooting a 15-foot jump shot from the perimeter, rather than grappling for rebounds under the rim. There are others on the team who did the power moves, not me. And that, of course, is why the coach yelled at me!

Power is something we recognize easily. The vice-president in our company who handles the staff meetings has power. The doctor who arrives on an accident scene and starts CPR to save a life has power. The kid in our tenth-grade class who announces a run for student body president has power. The judge who randomly gets assigned a high-profile case has power.

Power. Easily recognized, yes. Easily talked about, no. Easily understood, no. Can you recall a parent instructing you how to obtain power, why power is needed, and actually saying to you Power Up? Until that day on the basketball court at Lafayette High School in Lexington, Kentucky, nobody had ever told fifteen-year-old Steven A. Denny to Power Up.

The Bible is filled with talk about power. In fact, one can theologically claim that Jesus repeatedly told his followers to Power Up. We hear the recently resurrected Jesus tell his disciples in Acts 1:8, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you” and again in John 20:21 “he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.” [NLT]. Paul tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-control” (I Timothy 1:17 [NLT]).

Paul tells us to Power Up in the last words of his letter to the Ephesians: “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power” (Ephesians 6:10 [NLT]). The Greek word always translated “power” is dunamis, from which we get our English transliterated word “dynamite.” How vivid is that? We are called to “get under the rim” and show explosions of energy like an explosion of dynamite!

So what happened after I was told to Power Up? Why, nothing short of a miracle for this 6’2” 140 pounder! I am quite sure that before that week I had never before shown up in the box score after a game with a “double-double,” and surprise, surprise, in the next game I had over ten points and over ten rebounds! [Don’t be too impressed, since I am also quite sure it never happened again!]

Where in your life do you need to Power Up? Let us hear Merton’s “and I hope I have the desire to please you in everything I do” as our personal Power Up call. Be with us Lord as we Power Up to meet the needs before us, which might even include “roughing it up under the rim” and coming out with over ten spiritual rebounds!

Leave a comment, if you wish, regarding this post or how you found The Merton Prayer and why it is important to you. Thanks for visiting http://www.TheMertonPrayer.com!